Tag: humor column
member name: Chris Carlisle
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May 26, 2006 11:30 PM EDT --
I have a question. This particular question has plagued me for the past month, tried my wits and patience, and left me feeling uncertain about my mental faculties. I'm stumped. So I pose this question . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:37 PM EDT --
Today is a sad day for the English language. Extreme, a word that has long been associated with sporting activities that are borderline suicidal, died earlier today in a tragic accident. Born in the late . . .
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April 24, 2008 04:05 AM EDT --
"Scream at the top of your lungs until someone pays attention." That's great advice if you've fallen down a well or an elevator shaft. If you're a parent with young children, it's . . .
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February 17, 2009 01:09 AM EST --
Welcome to the official start of Beard Season 2009!
Beard season, if you’re unaware, is the longest contiguous time period during a calendar year in which a man can grow his beard before his wife or . . .
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March 04, 2009 11:16 PM EST --
Sunday March 8 at 2am marks the beginning of Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know the complete history of Daylight Savings, but I believe it began in the late 1800s as a measure to protect early rising . . .
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May 05, 2008 06:39 PM EDT --
For all intents and purposes, the following is a suicide note.
Okay, I'm not really killing myself (you can stop emailing the suicide hotline number), at least not my physical self. . . .
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March 27, 2008 08:25 AM EDT --
Yes, Gentle Reader, you read the title correctly. In my household, I currently have a cat who is taking a prescription antidepressant.
So why does my cat need Prozac? It's because he recently developed . . .
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August 17, 2009 11:15 PM EDT --
I volunteered to coach my coach my five-year-old daughter’s soccer team this fall.
Well, that’s not entirely true. To volunteer means to freely give one’s time, and technically . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:08 PM EDT --
I want a theme song, written about me, just for me. My theme song should highlight all of my positive attributes and make no mentions of my flaws. On second thought I have no flaws, so the song . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:12 PM EDT --
Hello. My name is Chris, and I'm a bad neighbor.
I never thought of myself as a bad neighbor. The crazy neighbor? Perhaps. I believe I achieved crazy neighbor status last Halloween. I handed out . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:17 PM EDT --
I recently found myself in the market for a new razor. It wasn't a planned razor change; I was extremely happy with my previous razor until it unexpectedly offed itself last week in an act of "toilet . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:21 PM EDT --
(The Dimmer Switch was recently the subject of a focus group to assess its overall humor capacity. 74% of the participants in the study said they found the content of the Dimmer Switch to be entertaining . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:34 PM EDT --
Spring has finally arrived in my neck o' the woods. The calendar may say spring started over a month ago, but I doubt that mother nature received that text message. Besides, the start of spring isn't . . .
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August 09, 2007 03:50 AM EDT --
As a parent, I often find myself in situations where I'm not completely sure how I should respond. The first example of this was an incident that occurred soon after the birth of my oldest daughter . . .
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July 25, 2007 10:12 AM EDT --
I fear that I am becoming one of “those people”. You’ve probably heard of “those people” before; they partake in a particular activity that for whatever reason you find a . . .
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August 23, 2007 01:18 PM EDT --
There are two types of people in this world: those who use analogies about two types of people in this world, and those of us who don’t. Wait. Nevermind.
As I was saying, I have a dirty car. Well, . . .
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September 06, 2007 05:50 AM EDT --
I recently bought a pony. No, it wasn't a grand distraction purchase or bribe. My wife and eldest daughter have been working with horses the past two years at a local riding center and after expressing . . .
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February 07, 2008 02:41 AM EST --
I had an epiphany while driving home from the office the other day. That's one of the advantages of having a long commute: you have plenty of time to let your mind's higher functions go idle and . . .
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February 21, 2008 04:38 PM EST --
This Sunday evening marks the 80th Annual Academy Awards ceremony. Although in years past I have made a point to watch the Oscars, I have no intention of watching this year's broadcast.
No, it's . . .
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March 20, 2008 01:40 AM EDT --
Like most pet owners, we try to include our animals in our holiday celebrations. For example, every Christmas our pets get a stocking full of treats and all of the candy canes hung from the lower branches . . .
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