Tag: columnists
member name: Chris Carlisle
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April 24, 2008 04:05 AM EDT --
"Scream at the top of your lungs until someone pays attention." That's great advice if you've fallen down a well or an elevator shaft. If you're a parent with young children, it's . . .
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May 05, 2008 06:39 PM EDT --
For all intents and purposes, the following is a suicide note.
Okay, I'm not really killing myself (you can stop emailing the suicide hotline number), at least not my physical self. . . .
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March 27, 2008 08:25 AM EDT --
Yes, Gentle Reader, you read the title correctly. In my household, I currently have a cat who is taking a prescription antidepressant.
So why does my cat need Prozac? It's because he recently developed . . .
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March 27, 2007 11:22 AM EDT --
Spring is finally here with all of its usual signs of springy springness: birds are chirping; flowers are budding; baseball players are reporting for random drug testing. While nature tends . . .
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August 09, 2007 03:50 AM EDT --
As a parent, I often find myself in situations where I'm not completely sure how I should respond. The first example of this was an incident that occurred soon after the birth of my oldest daughter . . .
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July 25, 2007 10:12 AM EDT --
I fear that I am becoming one of “those people”. You’ve probably heard of “those people” before; they partake in a particular activity that for whatever reason you find a . . .
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August 23, 2007 01:18 PM EDT --
There are two types of people in this world: those who use analogies about two types of people in this world, and those of us who don’t. Wait. Nevermind.
As I was saying, I have a dirty car. Well, . . .
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September 06, 2007 05:50 AM EDT --
I recently bought a pony. No, it wasn't a grand distraction purchase or bribe. My wife and eldest daughter have been working with horses the past two years at a local riding center and after expressing . . .
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February 07, 2008 02:41 AM EST --
I had an epiphany while driving home from the office the other day. That's one of the advantages of having a long commute: you have plenty of time to let your mind's higher functions go idle and . . .
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February 21, 2008 04:38 PM EST --
This Sunday evening marks the 80th Annual Academy Awards ceremony. Although in years past I have made a point to watch the Oscars, I have no intention of watching this year's broadcast.
No, it's . . .
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March 20, 2008 01:40 AM EDT --
Like most pet owners, we try to include our animals in our holiday celebrations. For example, every Christmas our pets get a stocking full of treats and all of the candy canes hung from the lower branches . . .
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April 15, 2008 01:18 AM EDT --
The Crayola 64 pack of crayons turns 50 this year. Well, not my Crayola 64 pack, since it melted in the back window of my parent's 1981 Ford Granada. I had left them there after school one day and . . .
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September 27, 2007 04:23 AM EDT --
If I were to sit down and compile a list of my biggest character flaws (modesty aside, it would be quite a short list), I'd say that at the top item on the list would have to be procrastination.
To . . .
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October 25, 2007 05:12 AM EDT --
Every October, malls and shopping centers across the country are treated with the seasonal Halloween store. You may not know exactly where it is in your shopping complex since the Halloween store’s . . .
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November 15, 2007 02:29 AM EST --
Recently my family and I packed up the van and embarked on the classic family vacation. It involved a long car trip punctuated by frequent parental admonishments of both siblings for copying, staring, . . .
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December 06, 2007 03:49 PM EST --
When most people think of Sweden, they think of the following: gnarled meatballs drowning in a sauce resembing the liquid found in an antiquated bottle of Elmer’s Glue, a puppet chef with bushy . . .
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February 28, 2008 12:11 PM EST --
This Friday is February 29th, also known as Leap Day, also known as the day you'll write the wrong date on all of your checks. Most people know the reason why February is given an extra day every . . .
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June 01, 2006 07:19 AM EDT --
My wife and I took the kids to the zoo this weekend. The zoo wouldn't take them so we had to bring them back home with us.
ba-dum-bum-CHING!
(That joke never gets old. Never gets funny, either.)
So . . .
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May 26, 2006 10:33 PM EDT --
I've noticed a disturbing trend on restaurant menus lately. This is probably the most distressing change to casual dining since the Restaurant Free Trade Act of 1998 made it mandatory for each restaurant . . .
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June 15, 2006 01:25 AM EDT --
(Cross posted from my online humor column, The Dimmer Switch. Link to original article.)
As summer comes barreling in with its stifling heat and humidity, children all across the country take up . . .
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